The Sacred Bridge of Dreams: How to Remember Your Dreams

Last updated on Apr 2, 2025

Everybody dreams...

Dear Grieving Mama,

I hear the deep pain and longing in your question about not being able to dream of your child. I know how desperately you want to connect with them, to feel their presence, to hear their voice again. The nights can feel especially empty when you long for these sacred dream visits and they don't seem to come. I want you to know something important: this absence of remembered dreams doesn't mean your child isn't trying to reach you.

Think of dreams as a delicate bridge between our world and the spiritual realm where your child now dwells. Just as you spent countless hours learning your child's unique ways of communicating when they were small - their different cries, their subtle expressions, their special gestures - you're now learning a new language of connection. And just like those early days of motherhood, this too takes time and gentle patience with yourself.

You Dream Every Night

You might be surprised to know that you're actually dreaming every single night. Science tells us that we spend about two hours in dreamland during our sleep - that's equivalent to about six years of our lifetime spent in this sacred space where spirit connection is possible. The challenge isn't in the dreaming itself; it's in building the bridge to remember these precious visits when you wake.

Why You May Not Remember Your Dreams

In Western culture, dreams are often viewed as random or meaningless—a mere byproduct of our brain’s processing of the day's events. However, this view overlooks the profound role dreams play in our lives. Dreams are not just a fantasy world; they are a sacred bridge between the conscious and the unconscious, between this world and the next.

If you're struggling to recall your dreams, it might be because we, as a society, don't give them the attention they deserve. Our culture doesn't tend to value dreams as sources of insight or communication. We treat them as fleeting and inconsequential, which can lead to them being easily forgotten. But this belief that dreams are unimportant is limiting and not reflective of what dreams truly are: tools for healing, growth, and connection.

Dreams as a Sacred Bridge

Our modern world doesn't honor dreams the way ancient cultures did. They understood what many grieving mothers intuitively know - that dreams are sacred doorways through which our loved ones can reach us. The Egyptians, Greeks, Native Americans, and many other cultures recognized dreams as powerful tools for spiritual connection. They knew what your heart knows: that love transcends physical death, finding new ways to express itself across the veil.

So why might you not be remembering your dreams? Think of it like trying to recall a whispered conversation in a noisy room. The message is there, but the busy thoughts and emotions of grief can sometimes drown out these subtle communications. Your child may very well be visiting you, but the remembering part needs gentle nurturing.

Many ancient cultures—such as the Egyptians, Greeks, Native Americans, and African tribes—have long recognized the spiritual power of dreams. They believed that dreams were a way to access wisdom, guidance, and even communication from the spirit world. In these cultures, dreams were seen as a vital part of the human experience, and they revered the ability to connect with the deceased through dreams.

This is where your healing journey can begin. If you want to re-establish a connection with your child, learning to remember your dreams can be a powerful first step. By valuing your dreams and actively creating space for them, you open up the possibility of a new relationship with your child—one that transcends physical death.

How to Start Remembering Your Dreams

Remembering your dreams starts with recognizing their importance. By shifting your mindset and understanding that dreams are valuable, you create an invitation for them to become a meaningful part of your life again. Here's how you can begin:

Let me share some sacred practices that can help you build this bridge of remembrance:

Create a Dream Altar

Place a special journal by your bedside, perhaps with your child's photo or a meaningful object. This becomes a sacred invitation, a physical space that honors the possibility of connection. Write in this journal every morning, even if you only remember a feeling, a color, or a fragment of a dream. Every small detail is precious.

Set Sacred Intentions

Just as you used to prepare for your child's return home from school or a trip, prepare your heart for these nighttime reunions. Before sleep, hold your child in your heart and simply say, "I am open to connecting with you, my beloved child. Help me remember our time together." This creates a sacred space of welcome for their visits.

Honor Dream Fragments

Even the smallest dream memories are significant. A flash of color, a familiar scent, a feeling of presence - these are all ways your child might be reaching out.

Don't dismiss these subtle signs. Write them down, ponder them, treat them as the precious gifts they are.

Practice Gentle Patience

Remember how patient you were as your child learned to walk or talk? Bring that same loving patience to this process. Some days you might remember nothing, other days might bring vivid visits. Each step on this path is part of rebuilding your connection in its new form.

Dream Recall 101

“And if I cannot find you while I am awake, I will visit and revisit you in my dreams so often that it will become second nature to imagine you here with me”

- Noor Shiraze

Morning Rituals Overview

Most people say they don’t dream, but really what happens is that they don’t remember their dreams. This morning ritual will get you to recall your dreams in no time.

Anatomy of the Morning Ritual

Dream Recall: Spend the first few minutes after you wake up retrieving and memorizing your dreams.
Dream Recording: Take time to physically record your dreams in a physical journal or a dream app to ground the dream in the physical earth plane.
Intention: Do a simple practice like breathwork, or meditation and set your intention for the day.

Dream Recall Steps

As soon as you wake up, remain in the same position with your eyes closed
After a few seconds, you will begin to recall dream images, sensations, and events
Continue to remain in the same position and mentally review the details of your dream
Once you feel that you have retrieved as much of the dream as possible, quickly get up and physically record the dream in your journal or dream app.
Work with whatever memories you have, even if it is just a single image like a blue ball, a feeling like sadness or a person like your mom.
You will notice that as you write, more memories will pop up in your consciousness. Keep going until you have written down as many memories as possible.

If you wake up with no recall

Turn your attention to how you feel.

Are your emotions positive or negative? Have you woken in a good mood?
Try and work backward and discover why you feel the way you do
You could also try a little word association (pick the first word that pops into your head) to see if this jogs any memories
More often than not, simply putting the effort into attempting to recall will (given a little time) pay off
If absolutely nothing happens, bring your awareness to the breath and take a few deep breaths letting your mind empty out
If no images come through, give yourself a break but still take the time to record the details of your sleep and mood when you wake up
During the day, images from your dreams might come floating back into consciousness

Dream Recall Reminders

Dream recall improves drastically with practice. It may initially be a struggle to remember your dreams, but your perseverance will pay off
Dream recall also drastically improves drastically with lifestyle upgrades and diet changes. For example a diet with less alcohol, caffeine, sugar and meat supports clear and vivid dreams
You will probably remember fragments of your most recent dreams. Follow the images in this dream in reverse order to remember earlier dreams
Don't pressure yourself to remember detailed and convoluted dream descriptions in exact chronological order
Approach your dream memories with softness and grace. Invite them to emerge gently and spontaneously into awareness. When you try to force things, you will probably become anxious and further block your memories.
If dream images don’t immediately float into awareness when you wake up just lie in bed quietly and breathe gently for a few breaths
Don’t worry about remembering detailed vivid dreams in the beginning. A single image or feeling is fine.
Try to approach this process with a sense of non-attachment to the outcome

Dream Recording

Dream Title: In your dream journal, give each dream a title
Date and Time: Include the date and time if possible.
Feelings & Mood: Add the overall mood, feeling, or theme of the dream e.g. mood – happy; theme – forgiveness, acceptance, betrayal, learning etc.
Settings: As you write, note the settings of your dreams e.g. my childhood home, the people who appeared in the dream e.g. my son, any significant symbols or objects that stand out in your mind e.g. a red BMW, and any emotions that the dream may have triggered in you.

Reminders

Leave one or two blank pages after each dream entry, so that you can add any additional thoughts, recollections, or interpretations that come through later
If a dream feels important, draw and color the key images in the dream. You will need to work with these types of big dreams over time
Remember to record everything no matter how insignificant, even if it is just “ I couldn’t remember any dreams last night”

Understanding Dream Visits from Loved Ones

Dreams are not just random images from our subconscious; they are potential avenues for messages from the spirit world. In my experience, I’ve found that some people who struggle with dream recall still experience visits from loved ones, even if they don’t initially remember them.

Often, it’s not about whether you dream of your loved one, but whether you’re able to remember the visit when you wake up.

If you are one of those who struggle to recall your dreams, remember that the ability to remember is closely tied to how much attention and value you place on your dreams. By nurturing this practice, you can build a relationship with your dreams that allows for the possibility of reuniting with your child, even if only for a brief moment in the realm of sleep.

The Healing Power of Dream Visits

Dream visits from a deceased loved one can offer immense comfort. They allow us to experience a connection that feels real and tangible, even if only for a short time. These visits provide an opportunity to communicate, to express love, and to receive reassurance from the other side. For many, these dream encounters are some of the most healing and transformative experiences during grief.

Your child may be trying to visit you in your dreams already. The key is to open yourself up to the possibility, to invite those visits, and to recognize the sacred power of dreams as a bridge to your loved one.

Dreams as a Lifelong Journey

As you move forward on your journey of grief, remember that dreams are not just fleeting moments of imagination. They are powerful, sacred tools that can help you heal, connect, and grow. Everyone dreams, and everyone has the potential to remember those dreams—especially if you begin to value them as a means of communication with your child.

Take the time to honor your dreams, and in doing so, you may discover the visits and messages you have longed for. Your child is waiting for you on the other side of the dream world, and with patience, love, and practice, you will find a way to reconnect once more.

Your child exists now in a dimension of pure love, unbound by physical limitations. They know how to reach you, and they are patient as you learn this new way of connecting. Think of this time as learning to mother across dimensions - it requires new skills, new understanding, but the love that drives it remains as strong as ever.

Remember, dearest mama, your love for your child created the most powerful bond in existence. That bond continues, even as you learn new ways to experience it. Your child knows your heart, feels your love, and is working with you to build this bridge of dreams between you.